A note for Partners.

There are few events in life that can touch the deepest part of ourselves than the birth of a child. From the moment we find out our partner is expecting every part of us is invited to join them on this amazing journey. We are just as critical to a beautiful birth as the two of them.

Our initial reaction to the news of the pregnancy can run the whole gambit of emotions. From shock and dismay to complete joy, it is not always easy to know how we will respond. No matter how we do feel, there is not a right or wrong way.

It is really important to be honest and open to where we are at internally, knowing that our feelings can evolve over the course of the pregnancy and birth. We have seen many families start out scared, sad or even dismayed, only to fall deeply in love with their little one by the time of the birth-and certainly after it.

During the pregnancy, it is a great time for you to learn and grow in all the aspects surrounding the miraculous process unfolding in your partner. Supporting them physically, educationally and emotionally will make the pregnancy journey that much more of a special time for all of you. They need you now just as much as they will need you after the birth and beyond.

When labor finally arrives, it will be a time of heightened needs for everyone-including you. The dance of labor can be filled with a wonderful, magical connection that is a lot like lovemaking-as deeply intimate as the act of love itself. Being open and honest about how you feel most comfortable supporting your partner and meeting their needs is really important at this time.

The time and energy expended during the labor and birth can be dramatic for everyone. It is often a marathon for all involved, including the caregivers. You want to be wise and practice good self-care leading up to this time so you can be available and present for the dynamic needs of all. That may mean slowing down your external life and saying no to others and events leading up to the labor and birth.

All of the time, effort and energy expended will feel a hundred percent worth it when your little one arrives. There is no greater feeling than knowing you gave your all during each aspect of the pregnancy, labor and birth. It may even be a little or a lot overwhelming, which is completely normal. It is one of the many reasons there are few events like this in life.

Richard F. Oxenham, Student Midwife